out for a test drive

Today has been better.
When I went on fb, I didn't go to rant or feel miserable.
I went in search of company and picker-uppers from those I know and love.
I found all that and more!

*** *** ***
Stroud Williams, grandpa of Grayson and Brooklyn, had some zingers waiting!
· Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.

· I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.

· I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.

· Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom.

· PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.

· Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.

· I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone.

· This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.

· So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?

· Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.

· My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.

· Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.

· I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?

· I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.

· Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.

· Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.

· Better 6 feet apart than 6 feet under!"

*** *** ***
My nephew-in-law out in Louisville has been using his vocal talents to raise money for the CDC.
I had mentioned a favorite song to both he and his wife, Emily.
Clearly, they both love Aunt Tina very much!

"I had mentioned this particular song - a Bob Marley tune that ALWAYS makes me smile and feel relaxed - to Boone Blackmon a couple of days ago. And, whaddaya know? He's gone and played it for me.
Yes, indeed, those "Three Little Birds" have spoken: every little thing is gonna be alright.
(smile!)
https://www.facebook.com/boone.blackmon.5/videos/10164960385510354/"

Hope he gets lots of hits on this song!

*** *** ***
This may well have been on Bill Peterson's, but I'm going to make sure Paul and Cathy see it.
I'm sure all Californians are going to love it!
After all, they were ahead of all the rest of the USA on COVID-19.

"*A RECAP OF THE LAST THREE WEEKS*

AMERICA: Oh my god! Coronavirus! What should we do?

CALIFORNIA: Shut down your state.

AMERICA: Wait... what? Why?

CALIFORNIA: Because 40 million people live here and we did it early, and it’s working.

OHIO: Whoa... whoa... let’s not be hasty now. The president said that this whole coronavirus thing is a democratic hoax.

CALIFORNIA: He also said that windmills cause cancer. Shut down your state.

TEXAS: But the president said that there are only 15 cases and soon there will be zero.

CALIFORNIA: The president can’t count to fifteen. Nor even spell it. Shut down your state.

NEW JERSEY: Us too?

CALIFORNIA: Yes, you guys too. Just like when Christie shut down the bridge, but it’s your whole state.

FLORIDA: But what about all these kids here on spring break?? They spend a lot of money here!

CALIFORNIA: Those kids invented the tide pod challenge. Shut down your state.

LOUISIANA: But wait let’s have Mardi Gras first. It entertains people.

CALIFORNIA: It also kills them. Shut it down.

GEORGIA: Ok well how about we keep the state open for all of our mega churches? Maybe we can all pray really hard until the coronavirus just goes away!

CALIFORNIA: Which is working like a charm for mass shootings. Jesus told us to tell you to shut down your state.

OKLAHOMA: What about the tigers?

CALIFORNIA: What about a dentist. Shut it down.

WYOMING: Hold up, maybe we should go county by county like the president said.

CALIFORNIA: Stop acting like there are counties in Wyoming. There are no counties in Wyoming. Wyoming is a county. Shut it down.

PENNSYLVANIA: But big coal.

CALIFORNIA: But big death. Shut it.

WEST VIRGINIA: But we were the last state to get coronavirus!

CALIFORNIA: And don’t make us explain to you why that was. Shut it down.

NORTH CAROLINA: But the republican national convention is coming here!

CALIFORNIA: SHUT... ok fine do what you want."

*** *** ***
Sandy, my silent third amiga from the other day, posted these stir-crazy blues!

"Just be careful because people are going crazy from being in lock down!

Actually I've just been talking about this with the microwave and toaster while drinking coffee and we all agreed that things are getting bad.

I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts a different spin on everything.

Certainly not to the fridge as he is acting cold and distant.

In the end the iron straightened me out as she said everything will be fine, no situation is too pressing.

The vacuum was very unsympathetic... told me to just suck it up buttercup, but the fan was more optimistic and hoped it would all soon blow over!

The toilet looked a bit flushed when I asked its opinion and didn’t say anything but the door knob told me to get a grip.

The front door said I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to ........yes, you guessed it. Pull myself together.

I hope it made you smile."

*** *** ***
Barbara just checked in with me to see how my foray went.
How very sweet of mi amiga!

her: So what was your expedition into the great unknown like today?
Did you find lactose free milk and toilet paper?

me: Found my milk!
No on the other.
Felt panicked the whole time.
Hardly anyone was wearing a mask, but I did.

her: I am totally about masks.

me: Agreed.
But my head thinks I am suffocating, so having to mask up to go in public will likely keep my silly self home.
Seriously.

her: I was reading about the tp shortage.
Part of it is the companys' switching from commercial rolls like we have in the movie theaters to the smaller rolls we use at home.

me: Hey, I am a scientist.
I have made do with one roll for three weeks.
I started my penultimate roll over a week ago.
I think I will be ok.

her: Hey, I last went to the grocery on the 24th.
I had a phone session with my therapist last week.

me: Grocery getting was my goal, had a list and got most of it.
Treated myself to sushi and will have a popsicle later.

her: When I go out I will bring you a couple of rolls.
When all else fails my nephew works at GA Pacific.
They make the stuff.
Or if you want to just drive to my house...

me: I will keep that in mind.
It was good to take a drive.
Went to the Publix near you.
Was out of my house and yard for almost two hours. :-)

*** *** ***
And, finally, a heart-felt post from one of my favorite members of the League of Savannah Bloggers, that one and only Thomas Houston.

"There's been a lot of "You're lucky. You're at home with your spouse/SO/whatever."
And don't get me wrong, that is cool, and I definitely prefer it to the alternative.

But platonic and romantic love are two completely separate things, and I think I can safely speak on behalf of those of us with "someone" that we miss all of our other loved ones, too.

Or at least I do.

Anywho, I haven't seen a huge upswell of that, but I just wanted to put it out there, because people are just going to get crazier as things go on."

Thanks, big fella.
I miss you, too.

Now, to try one of these popsicles I treated myself to at the store!
Later, y'all!