keeping my silly self home tricks

I conversation I had earlier on my phone has stayed with me.
Rather, a phrase I used during that texting episode has kept repeating:
defense mechanism.
Based on a psychological model, the term refers to a technique a person uses unconsciously to better handle a stressful or harmful situation.
Yes, I most definitely do that, but I wouldn't exactly call it an unconscious action on my part.
I know it better by another phrase: loss adjustment.
I've been practicing loss adjustment for better than a third of my life now, though most consciously since 2004.
That was the year I went to Okinawa with Sue and her two little ones.
I realized then that I was transferring my experiences that I had lived to share with Mama into experiences that I was living for me.
In other words, by revisiting that duty station and some of the places on that island, I was accepting those new memories for simply their worth to me, not to anyone else.
It was a wake-up call for me, in more ways than one.
When I was first divorced, I had to find ways to combat that loss of love, that loss of friendship, and, more so than I would have known, that loss of touch, of connection with another person.
In my new life AD, my first recognition of my body having found an antidote to loss of touch was by pure happenstance.
I had returned from "waking up somewhere else" and left my suitcase on the other side of the foot of the king-sized bed.
In the morning, I was surprised to find that I had slept through the night!
My foot had found the suitcase in the night, satisfying my mind that I was not alone.
Two days later, I had another loss adjustment moment, again concerning bedtime.
My BFF had suggested a heated mattress pad, as nothing is quite as alluring as a warm bed on a chilly night.
She was absolutely correct, and I have found myself still using it, even though 2020 has slid almost halfway through this spring month.
(smile)
Since then, I've written about loss adjustment on various occasions, including:
my feelings toward my ex;
minding my energy after SamJ and Daddy died;
the importance of airports when returning from a visit with friends;
my return to solitude after Italy;
complications from clothing on relationships;
the use of music as a healing balm;
my love for the bfe;
the absence of a shoe;
the Rogue moving out and up to Atlanta;
the removal of an oak tree;
the departure of dear friends for their home in California;
the realization that travel is more tiring now;
the helpfulness of nature to the soul after Jean Marie's death;
acceptance of the age difference with the bfrb;
how to deal with hurricanes.

So, during this time of "shelter in place" during the worst of this pandemic, what types of loss adjustment have I set in motion to hang onto those tattered shreds I call sanity?
Well, here are the ones I have at this point in time.

1) Put my hair into a ponytail or braid, then leave it that way for several days in a row. No brushing of the hair allowed!
How that helps:
I know I look like a hot mess and that keeps me from even thinking about leaving home.

2) Don't put on clothes, except maybe a nightgown.
How that helps:
Well, I certainly can't go out in public like that! May as well just enjoy myself at home!

3) Don't put on shoes, either.
How that helps:
Well, driving barefoot is illegal, so... no shoes, no driving, stay home.
That's not rocket science.

4) Watch "The Big Bang Theory" every day.
How that helps:
Those boys of physics are part of my normal evening fare, as they have been for more than a decade.
That bit of normalcy helps belay the sadness of the world.

5) Eat favorite foods as much as possible.
How that helps:
The taste and smell activates the memory of having that same thing in much better circumstances, something that's been researched and was in a recent NOVA episode.

6) Limit exposure to social media and to news.
How that helps:
People can be careless with their words during a crisis and the media is just relentlessly so.
Use genuine sites for information that's truthful and useful.

7) Make sure to have some variety in movie entertainment.
How that helps:
Not that a familiar film isn't a pleasure from time to time, but to one accustomed to new offerings at the cinemas, "new" is what is needed to distract the mind and... oddly... to add a bit of normalcy to my life.
A Quarantine Film Festival seems to the answer.

8) Make sure to feel some sunshine at least twice a week.
How that helps:
Even though I take my Vitamin D supplement every day now, there's nothing that quite compares to making like a lizard and basking in the sun for a little while.

9) Dance, kill shrubbery, mow the grass... just MOVE THAT BODY!
How that helps:
Those are all actions that give me a sense of accomplishment.
Plus, we all know how much I enjoy dancing!
(smile)

10) Write, write, write.
How that helps:
First, it helps me to organize my thoughts and relish past events.
Second, it allows me to vent in a direction that takes the hurt away.
Third, it can be quite entertaining!

So, loss adjustment in a different setting, but not really anything new.
Now, what say we take seriously that idea of a Quarantine Film Festival?!
That will certainly be entertaining and I already have quite a few movies under my belt, thanks to free previews of Showtime and Starz ON DEMAND these past couple of months.
Sounds like a plan!