oh.. it was a love letter... i get it now

On Monday, needing something different to listen to, I looked through my cassettes.
Yes, I still have tape cassettes, in a cabinet by the front door.
Not everything needs to be digital, okay?
Plus, the cabinet is a good place to always leave my keys when I return home.
Anyway, as I was saying, I needed something - different - on Monday.
Something that had no commercials, something to remind me of a life before quarantine from a world gone mad and a coronavirus run rampant.
The most recent store-bought cassette is from 1990...
a compilation of classical tunes purchased at Victoria's Secret, of all places...
with a couple from 1987, 1988, and 1989.
Most of the cassettes are ones I made as I transferred my albums to a format that would work for driving music.
Amazingly, they all still sound good.
Any cassettes more recent than 1990 are mix-tapes, including two made by my ex.
The one I selected was the older of those two.
Jeff had made that one in 1998, for my 40th birthday.
What a good time that had been!
I'd celebrated for three days!
The Friday had been spent with him, going out to dinner and doing what couples do.
The Saturday night had been a cookout and music party at our house for all of our friends, with dancing and everything!
The Sunday afternoon had wrapped things up with another cookout, this time for all my family to help me celebrate.
What a magnificent birthday it had been!
Yes, that cassette would definitely be best for right now...
music from my past, more than two decades ago.
So, I'd popped it in and instantly had my soundtrack in play - cool beans!
That was Joe Cocker, "Talking Back To The Night" with me!
Then I had a little "Time Out Of Mind" from Steely Dan - definitely!
But, what was "Hot Lunch Jam"?
Oh, wait, that was on the soundtrack of "Fame"... baby remember my name... must have been an inside joke from my Baby, as I called him, to his Baby, as he called me.
(smile!)
Time to go to "Trinidad" with Eddie Money, then living out my fantasy and keepin' up with "Mama Kin" through Aerosmith - oh, yeah!
Then, the mood definitely shifted.
I'm not sure why Jeff chose the next couple of songs.
Maybe he was subtly referencing the bad time we had the year before, when it came to light that he'd had affairs - and daughters - with two different women.
"Ain't Love A Bitch", from my man Rod Stewart, then The Kinks' "Predictable"?
Really?
How about Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers with "A Woman In Love (It's Not Me)"?
Okay, pretty dark stuff there.
"Lucretia MacEvil" seemed to get the funk out, along with some Blood, Sweat, & Tears.
Still... was the group's name part of the intent there?
"Night Time" was the right time, J. Geils Band told me... and I believed them, too!
So why did Peter Frampton say "I Can't Stand It no More"?
That wasn't the end of the first side of the mix-tape, but I had lunch calling, so I stopped the music and stepped back into my shelter-at-home life.

Today, I picked back up where I'd left off, returning to the 1980's time.
Elton John was telling me how much he wanted to "Kiss The Bride" -
in memory of the times they had shared before this new guy -
ah, that's just because he was a "Dirty White Boy", that Foreigner!
Hahaha hahaha!
I must say, that had to be a pun slipped in for me!
It was "All I Can Do" with The Cars, while Pat Benatar assured me "We Live For Love".
And that finished up Side 1.
That was my cue to catch it on the flip side, see what lay in store...
which was easy enough to make true, as the titles were in the case still.
Not that I think that would have made a difference.
I honestly didn't catch on until more than midway through that there was a method to the madness of the song order.
I wonder if I knew that once upon a time but had forgotten?
Probably not.
So, what about Side B?
Well, it got off with a bang as Queensryche told me they "Gotta Get Close To You" -
then it was just a Reflex to talk of "The Politics Of Dancing", baby!
All that was needed was belief in an "Invisible Sun", the Police said, while Wang Chung continued with "Don't Let Go", even when my Heart bemoaned the "Cities Burning".
(smile)
Steve Winwood assured me we were "Still In The Game".
"Oh! You Pretty Things", trying to drive me insane, chuckled David Bowie!
Alan Parsons Project followed that up with an admonishment to not believe the "Psychobabble" crap out there.
It was good to be a "Private Dancer", like I had been for him at the WAEV radio station that night we first met, as Tina Turner played on the air.
Even if we had been in the Icehouse, it wouldn't have been "Crazy".
Just slip into the arms of "The Disco Strangler" while Eagles soared above!
Since I was a tough-talking woman like that in "The Ballad Of Lois Malone", he knew all I needed was the Atlanta Rhythm Section to give the girl what was needed:
a song with a beat so Bob Seger, and everyone else, could watch "Her Strut".

By that time, I was in tears.
He really did "get" me, didn't he?
And this had been his gift to me, to purposely make a song list to let me know.
I am so thankful we had sixteen years together as a couple...
as Tina4Jeff on our email while married for fifteen of those years...
and I am so thankful that our friendship survived the divorce and that we have remained good friends since then.
Maybe, one of these days, I'll ask him about this mix-tape and it's theme -
probably not, though.
I'd like to believe the story I think it told.
I know he would understand that, and that he would say:
"What color is the sky in your world?
I bet it's pretty."

LOL!
It's good to know someone who knows me so well, and loves me anyway.
(smile)