more apt than not

Last night, as I watched "Trailer Park Boys" "with" Ronnie on my mind, I had to grab an old envelope to scribble down notes from the movie.

- guy smoking remainders of other people's discarded cigarettes

Yeah, many's the time that he used to do that.

He would even keep the longer butts, the ones with more than a drag or two left on them, in an empty cigarette pack for later.

- guy living in a trailer park, in a in a rundown, leaky trailer

Oh, my, I had forgotten about that!

Someone - I don't recall who - had such a thing in a trailer park that was near Coach's Corner and they graciously allowed Ronnie to stay there for a while.

I'm recalling that he was there long enough I had an address to write to him, as well as being close enough to visit regularly.

I don't know why he favored Thunderbolt, but he did, living in that area for most of the past decade, whether in a trailer, an apartment, a tent, or someone's house. 

- guy watching/starring in porn movies

Now, I don't know of Ronnie ever starring in such a movie - except maybe in his dreams!

He sure did watch them, though, as I did while in the Navy, so we would talk about some of them from time to time.

"Debbie Does Dallas" rings a bell... lol!

- guys at strip clubs with lots of topless women and lap dancing

Oh, yeah, I know he liked that part!

When I was in Las Vegas in 2010, I'd gone to the burlesque show, "Crazy Horse Paris" - which I think was at the MGM Grand - and brought him back a souvenir.

Yeah, he'd really liked that!

I think he would have loved that Mae West video I have.

 

- guy with a glass of whiskey always in his hand

Ronnie didn't always have a cold beer in his hand... but he would have if he could have afforded it!

He used to drink whiskey, too, but you can get a lot more beer for five dollars than you can get of hard liquor, so he pretty well gave that up.

Well, unless someone else was buyin'!

 

- lead guy (Ricky) in and out of jail, after dumb stuff, as if it was natural part of life

Yep, yep, same for Ronnie, and that started before Mama died.

In fact, it had been going on for several years before her death in 2001, with him and Tony just about taking turns getting locked up.

Mostly it was for public drunkenness, sometimes for fighting, sometimes DUI.

Like I said, dumb stuff.

It sure wore Mama out, worrying about both of them.

His continued trips to jail sure wore me out, but at least he wasn't my kid, so I didn't feel responsible for his actions.

- guy smoking dope

Hey, all three of my brothers did that when they were younger, even talking me into trying it during my senior year.

That almost kept me out of the Navy, by the way.

On the preliminary trip to Jacksonville to get checked out physically and mentally for service, I admitted that I had tried marijuana.

Next thing I knew, I had to get three letters of recommendation from teachers and employers to verify that I wasn't an addict before I was allowed to continue with my enlistment!!

True story.

My security clearance during my eight years of service kept me clean of drug use after that, and ever since. 

Well, except for alcohol now and again, right?

Ronnie was smoking crack for a while, until a TIA in 2010 nearly killed him.

That was his first time in the hospital, and when I began buying cellphones for him.

You see, if not for his crackhead girlfriend having a phone, and the presence of mind to use it to call 911, he would have died at that apartment across from the lake in Daffin Park.

By the time he was in the hospital in 2015, I had probably bought at least fifteen phones for him, dutifully paying their monthly fees so he would have a lifeline, buying another when he lost the one he had.

Sigh.

- guy kicked out of home (trailer) for lack of payment

Yes, that was a recurring theme, too.

Kicked out of the trailer, kicked out of the house near Henry Street, kicked out of the garage apartment on Bee Road, kicked out of Sue Crowe's house, kicked out of Smitty's rental on Hawthorne... and Ronnie just regarded it as part of life.

What he really wanted was for someone to give him a place to live.

Notice that word "give".

A place with no strings attached, no cost to him, with him free to share it with whoever he wanted, and do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

What a dreamer!

At least now he doesn't have to be concerned about such things.

 

I sure miss you, you goofy boy.

I had a long talk about you with the guy at Arcadia when he was trying to get you moved into a nursing facility last week.

He told me I reminded him of his sister, who he loved very much.

While I was with you at the hospital yesterday for that final time, I contacted him to let him know you had passed and to thank him for all his help.

This is the message he sent back.

"Tina, I truly hope that Ronnie is at peace and you and your family can reflect on his time with you and this world in a meaningful way. 

You described him as a man who lived life on his own terms. I think we can admire the spirit of his determination.

Bless you for all you did for him.

Sincere regards, John"

I'm going to treasure that, and treasure memories of you...

all of them, warts included.

Your name is all over my beach, and my beachwalks, and my delights, and, yes, even here, in my hindsight...

because you have been, and still are, in my heart, always.

I sure miss you, you goofy boy.