on christmas day, on christmas day

I may not have seen three ships come sailing in today, but I did see all three of Smitty and Mary's kids!

That's Christy, back left, soon to be 39, with her one-and-only ever-lovin' daughter Caitlyn, soon to be 15, staring at me - hi, y'all!

Tony's wife, Laura, is perched on his lap, which seems to be a favorite seat for her.

And the reason I was taking photos in the doorway?

Buster had seen them out around the table, so he'd hopped up in a chair to join them!

(smile!)
 

Where was Zach during all of this fuss?

He was right beside me in the open patio door!

Here he is just moments earlier, when the opening of gifts was in progress.

Like Caitlyn, this 35-year-old knows how to look straight at any camera in a room!

Love the lid he's wearing!

He had it specially made to show his support for autism, and for his son, Kobe.

Fly those colorful puzzle pieces, Zach!

(smile!)

What about the youngest son?

Here's Tyler, in the living room with his 'rents!

The 25-year-old was sporting a sweater jacket that must have come straight outta Lapland!

That had been a gift from his girlie, Hannah, as well as his new "Nice Cock" socks!

Hey, there was a rooster on them, okay?

Nice pun, right? 

And so appropriate for a chef!

(smile!)

And just was Hannah?

Well, you have to look to the right of the chair, toward the couch, where she was with Christy and Caitlyn!

Do you see her yet?

Hahahaha! Yeah, 2-D doesn't work that way!

And here I am, in the 'fireworks' shirt from Mother Pat and the festive blue unicorn brooch from Christina a couple of Christmases ago.

I just had to have this proof that I was there, too!

Merry Christmas, y'all!

nothing like watching the lions lose!

Here we were, gathered in the living room, doing something that's been part of this holiday for all of us for almost three decades: watching the Detroit Lions lose.

That's Zach's denim-clad leg up front, then Hannah - she's new to the family - as well as Tony and Tyler, with Christy out of the frame.

I kept telling them that those day-glo blue socks on the Lions were new, so Zach and Tyler looked it up - yep, I caught that fashion change!

The Lions were up against opponents who were also from the animal kingdom: the Chicago Bears.

And guess what I had just been watching with Caitlyn and Mary?

The championship dog show!

As Zach said, "lions and dogs and bears, oh, my!"

Of course, all of that was after the Thanksgiving meal, when we were all so full of food that doing anything other than sit was out of the question.

What question?

I'm glad you asked!

There was smoked turkey breast and quail!

Roast turkey and roast ham and deviled eggs!

Sweet potato souflee, squash casserole, green beans, macaroni 'n' cheese!

Cornbread souflee and dressing with gravy!

Plus, we had desserts a-plenty: pecan pie, pumpkin pie, lemon bars, baked pecans, and banana pudding!

I feel like I just rattled off Grandpa's dinner list on "Heehaw", so let me add: "Yum, yum!!!"

And just where was brother Smitty during all this watching of tv?

I'm pretty sure he was tending to his big red smoker after all that cooking he'd done!

This was earlier, soon after Tony and I arrived, with Smitty and Zach out in the barbeque pit making merry with poultry, including that aforementioned quail.

What a treat - all of it!

Family, food, and fair weather! Amen!

ellabell calling for pumpkins!

"Is that person, or a place. of which you speak?"

It's a place, silly rabbit! Remember going out there for Noah's birthday a few years ago? Well, Robin and Harry have moved out there permanently!

"Of course I remember! Hard to believe that was almost three years ago, back in early 2019. Just the shed and the lake were out there in the country."

Well, the shed is still party central, with a grand parking lot set up for party goers' cars and tables loaded with food!

"Is that Harry at the grill, there on the end? I'm sure he'll have his tasty chili in that big pot!"

You know it! And there's our hostess in the orange shirt, talking with my sister-in-law Mary, while Robin's daughter, Brandi, is over at the next table, in the yellow shirt.

"She's the mom of Asher, right? The little boy who was so sweet about doing chemistry with you at the last BYOP?"

That's right! I said hello to him this time, but I don't know that he really knew who I was, even though I'd made sure to wear my uv-detecting arm band. That's him, working on a pumpkin, while I talk to Mark Kameron, as well as Smitty and Mary.

"And who is Mark?"

He's the brother of Jimmy, of course! Hahahaha! They're two of the Kameron boys that grew up down the street from us. There may have been six of them.

"Okay, more than I needed to know. I see Mary and Smitty again, too. And who's the woman in the Cheshire Cat shirt?"

That would be Betsy, wife of Jimmy. She's from our 'hood, too. I actually spent a lot of time talking to these five this time, lot of fun!

"Oh, good to see Tony and Laura there, too!"

You betcha! Tony had called this morning to invite me to ride with them - really surprised me! I brought along the directions I'd written out and those came in handy. I think he liked that they were on paper, not via internet. Me, too!

"Sounds like a good time, for sure! But what's with the face?"

Well, I was trying to send some photos to my email, as I do, and T-Mobile was taking its sweet bippy time about that task for me.

"So much for them having the best coverage! LOL!"

Seriously. One more thing about this photo: that shirt was selected because it was orange, but it sure fit me funny. It's from the 2017 Rock'n'Roll Marathon. Remember?

"Oh, yeah, I remember. Getting up early on a cold day to go stand outside... with Miss Virginia, who is always upbeat, so that was good. Plus, I got to see two of Sue's kids, who were there with a group from their school. That part was awesome! It's almost time for that race again. Have you volunteered for it?"

Nope, and I don't plan to, either. No alarm clocks in my life!

"Amen to that, g'friend! So what's next for tonight?"

"Monk"! Two episodes! So... bye! Such a wonderful Sunday it's been!

i thank You, God, for the cheer of family and friends!

gift of low country boil on dutch island

What a bowl,

what a bowl,

what a mighty full bowl!

C'mon, now, ya gotta sing it like Dave Crawford had intended it to be done!
I have to say, that's a right lovely way to serve a low country boil, too.

Usually, the cook pot is emptied over a picnic table covered with newspapers, but I must admit:

this looks far more appetizing!

More genteel, too, which I guess is to be expected as we all get a bit older, right?

(smile)

And after all the eating was done, I even had leftovers to carry home for another meal!

Thanks, Mary!

Speaking of that sister-in-law of mine, here she is with a cute trick!

She's trained Buster to eat from a spoon!

No, seriously, she has!

She had mixed up some special food for him and then she proceeded to hand feed him - what a hoot!

My other sister-in-law, Laura, and her teenaged son, Noah, both got tickled by it, too!

How long has Mary been doing that?

I have no idea.

When did she start feeding the dog that way?

I have no idea.

But the dog goes along with it and she likes doing it, so that's all that really matters!

Here's Smitty, lounging on his back deck, jawing with Noah and Tony, while Buster tries to muster up some manliness in his stance.

(smile)
It truly was magnificent weather for a Memorial Day cookout: sunny and warm, with just enough breeze to take the bite out of the heat.

i thank You, God!

My and my two remaining brothers had such a lovely, low-key, day in each other's company, and shortly after I took this photo, Smitty said, "Well, while we're all here", and fetched forth... the Family Bible that I'd grown up knowing.

It must have been given to Mama and Daddy when they wed, as the genealogy works backward from their names.

Frank had given the tome to Smitty, which is good; I had thought it was lost.

I made sure to take some photos of those family names for the genealogy tree at My Heritage.

Thanks, Smitty, for having us be together today!

Thanks, Tony, for the ride out there with you and Noah while Laura was at work, and thanks for the ride home, too!

exactly what i wanted for 64-1

I wanted this day to pass fairly uneventfully... and it did.

i thank You, God.

I awakened in my peaceful aquarium, bathed in its soft light.

My thanks to my brother Smitty for that gift.

My breakfast was a leftover chicken sandwich - with mayo! - from last night.

I combined that with the cup of diced peaches from a final, untouched, breakfast tray earlier this month.

My thanks to my brother Ronnie for that gift.

I had one visitor, sans rest of his family, who came and talked with me for a while.

It was almost like having Grandpa right there in my living room!

Honestly, that's not the first time I've seen the resemblance.

My thanks to my brother Tony for that gift.

I finally watched CFTE's vimeo of "Hedda Gabler".

As I told Smitty when he texted, it's "about a conniving woman who sets someone up for death and ends up caught in that web. Very nice costuming."

That's her on the left, wed to one of the men and former lovers with all else there.

 

Mary had texted greetings and love to me this morning - my thanks to her.

Rhonda had texted greetings and love to me this morning - my thanks to her.

Christina called with love, trying hard to not say "happy birthday" - wmla.

Jeff called with greetings and love from Michigan - my thanks to him.

Paul and Cathy sent greetings and love in the mail from CA - my thanks to them.

Noah gave me greetings and love in a card - my thanks to him.

Tony gave me greetings and love in a card - my thanks to him.

He and Laura gave me love and a grocery gift card - my thanks to them.

Amy sent greetings and love in the mail, as a handmade card with fringed grass skirt, from Michigan - my thanks to her.

Carolyn has just called, inviting me out for the last screening of "Cruella" and I'm going -

my thanks to her and my AMC A*List.

It won't be on the Big D screen, but that's perfect for this day...

this day I have dreaded for twenty years...

this day that is drawing to a close.

i thank You, God.

back where i belong

This morning, I woke up a little early and took all the bedding off.

Smitty arrived at 11 AM and we went out to Families First to pick up Ronnie, all 9.8 pounds of him that represented the metals in his bones and body.

It's amazing, and rather sad, that those metals - calcium, magnesium, zinc, iron, sodium, potassium - are all that remains of a person after the organics have been converted into carbon dioxide gas and water vapor by the cremation process.

When we returned to my house, Smitty helped me move my bed back into the aquarium.

I had only asked for his assistance with the mattress, as that latex foam is so very heavy and unwieldy...

but, next I knew, the entire thing - frame, boxsprings, and all - had been transported.

Very good!

I won't say that I'm not going to miss being in the Ocean Room.

That move represented a time in my life when Michael and his girls shared my home, so those are precious memories.

Now, the Ocean Room's still-new Ocean Umbra rug will serve as an appropriate floor in that space.

As for the rest of the bedroom furniture, that can wait another day, or more, to be shifted down the hall.

What a nice change for my upcoming birthday!

Speaking of which, I've let Smitty and Christina know that I'm not celebrating this one.

I told them so around the early part of last week, or maybe the week before.

This year, I'll become the age Mama was when she died; that's not an age I want to be reminded of over and over and over.

I've even removed my birthday listing on facebook, to keep it more quiet.

I've assured my family that next year, when I'm 64, it'll be a huge celebration!

But not this year.

This year will serve as a countdown, starting at 64-1.

Yes, I like the sound of that.

And I like that tomorrow I'll wake up in my aquarium.

joke's on sister t

Once upon a time, Smitty and Ronnie would pull pranks on me, knowing how gullible and willing to believe I was (and still am, more often than not).

Smitty was always better at keeping a straight face than Ronnie was, so he was really good at fooling me.

But Ronnie was pretty good at it, too.

Truth to tell, I didn't mind at all.

Sure, it was a bit embarrassing when playing pool with buddies in the Navy, trying to get away with a move and finding out it wasn't legit.

Or playing spades and learning that there was nothing special about certain card combinations.

That's when I would realize that my brothers' "rules" had been made up on the spot so they would win.

Good times!

Even in this photo that I took today, with that little smile on his lips and in his eyes, Smitty looks like he's about to play a prank, but he wasn't.

He was just posing in the Williams Seafood cap that his younger son, Tyler, had just bestowed upon him.

Maybe he was smiling about Savannah being a small town.

After all, I had just told him that my high school friend Josie was married to Kenny, the grandson of the family that had owned that once-famous Wilmington Island restaurant.

Yeah, that was probably why there was that grin.

I'd gone there to gather the sales tax data for April, as it's due this month, and ended up with the data for May as well.

Tyler was there to get the Jeep out, as the weather has warmed up nicely again.

Smitty cut me a check to cover the charges from Families First, to keep my credit card from gathering interest, so that added one more stop to my chore list.

First, I went to Walmart and returned the shorts I'd bought Ronnie, the ones he'd never even had a chance to look at.

The line at the customer service counter was daunting, but moved briskly, so that went without a hitch.

Raindrops were falling on my head as I continued toward the bank, to make the deposit.

That's when I became aware I'd been punked.

No, not by Smitty.

That check he'd given me was just fine.

The problem arose when I tried to deposit this bill along with it.

Mind you, when I'd found it in Ronnie's back pants pocket, wadded up and surrounded by singles, I'd been shocked.

How on Earth had someone given that to him?

Even in the tattered and dirty state it was in, it was still a Benjamin, and there was no telling how long he had carefully carted it around.

I'd tossed all the currency into a soapy bath at home, to soak off the dirt and smell.

This bill had separated into three pieces, so I'd taped the shreds together and hoped for the best.

Maybe I would use the hundred-dollar bill to buy a dinner for his kids...

or so I thought.

But the bank clerk had barely looked at when she'd told me it was a fake.

See those hot pink markings?

See the placement of the serial number?

See the lack of holographic image on the right?

Yeah, well I hadn't.

The bank clerk had been quite kind when she pointed out the details.

It was paper 'money' given to children to play with, she told me.

Very funny, Ronnie...

you got your Sister T real good with that one!

Right?

(smile)

 

He got me twice more, too.

I'd taken the eyeglasses back to CVS to return them.

Just as I was getting out of the car, I looked to make sure I had the receipt in the bag.

No, no I did not, it was just not there.

Drats.

To home I went, hoping it was on the dining table.

No, no it was not.

Had I placed it into the recycling bag?

No, no it was not in there.

Drats.

Then I saw a piece of paper under the far end of the table...

and there it was!

Placing it into the bag with the wares, off I returned to CVS.

When time came to return the charge to my debit card, that's when I realized that the third joke had been played on me today.

Not only did I not have that card, I didn't have my driver's license, either.

Both had been left on the dining room table.

Very funny, Ronnie!

You got me good with that one...

but I was still able to cross that return off my list of chores.

The store just gave me a gift card with the return balance on it.

Nice to know you're doing well, brother mine.

Glad I could bring you a chuckle or two today.

Love you, boy.

good times, good times: october 1997

 As I just posted on the book of face: 

"So... when the ex and I were talking about Ronnie last Sunday night, he brought up a Halloween party that the three of us went to. Good times! 

Tonight, I went in search of those photos... and found them! October 1997 was the time, Monica McDermott's A-frame was the location. Christopher Jean Soucy, Mark Rand, JinHi Soucy Rand, Sharon Frain Novinger, Susan Carlile, Doug Povie, Rob Norman, and a bunch of others. 

Ronnie had shaved off half his hair and half his mustache, and an eyebrow, and went as a Georgia Regional patient. Very funny!

Good times!

I've also added one from the 3rd day of my 40th birthday celebration, for Christina Smith and Mike Smith."

This is one of the party scenes, with Ronnie on the floor and no doubt regaling these two with a wild story or ribald joke!

And here's Ronnie with Doug Povie, both keeping lubricated with beverages of choice.

(Speaking of that, I hoisted a sweet tea in my brother's honor tonight. Not the first time I've done so in this past week.)

Jeff played DJ that night, as he did at all the A-frame parties.

He'd chosen one of the KISS clan for his make-up, as well as the memento concert shirt.

Me? I was a buck-toothed vampire!

LOL!

(There were about 5 more photos in the fb post.)

This last one left on the web space was from my third day of my 40th birthday, the one with family coming to our house (not the current one) for grilled meats!

 

Ronnie was having a good time with Christina and Michael, for sure!

 

Good times, definitely good times.

as i had intended it

An obituary for one beloved is difficult to write...

but also difficult to read when it is misrepresented.

The one that was printed in the Savannah Morning News yesterday had all the lines run together, right on top of each other, with no photograph of him.

That was not how I had written it.

The second draft, the one approved by his daughter and his son, was composed as a free-style poem that celebrated the man he was, the man we loved, warts and all.

Families First has it printed in accordance with that, including a picture of him at Carey Hilliard's, with his fried shrimp platter, in 2014 for his birthday meal.

My heartfelt thanks for that.

Here it is, for me, for all.

* * * * *     * * * * *     * * * * *

Ronald Allen Smith

May 13, 2021

Ronald Allen Smith, 58, died of lung cancer on May 8, 2021.

A native of Savannah, GA, he was a jack of several trades, with much of his life spent in the HVAC and hardwood flooring business, installing and repairing.

Many knew him by the nickname he gave himself: RAS, spoken as if it had a series of “z”s on the end.

He was always up for a good joke, a cold beer, and a rousing action movie, with a ready smile for all.

He was a man who experienced life on his own terms, as all who knew him will attest.

The way to best honor his memory is to raise a toast with your favorite beverage; either sweet tea or beer would please him greatly.

He is survived by his sister, Faustina Smith; his brother, Harvey (Mary) Smith; his brother, Anthony (Laura) Smith; his daughter, Christina Smith, and two grandchildren, Miyah and Chloe; and his son, Michael Smith, and two grandchildren, Leila and Alyssa.

His request to be cremated is being honored by Families First Funeral Care, with a private celebration of life. 

www.familiesfirstcare.com

gifts of support and love on fb

Faustina Smith
(posted 8 May 2021)
My brother, Ronnie, died today from lung cancer. He was 58.
This photo was from our usual birthday luncheon in 2015.

Frank Dinan
Sorry to hear that, Tina. He is with God, now.

Sharon Frain Novinger
I’m so sorry to read this Tina! Sending you much love

Betsy Provost Kameron
Damn it!!
Eternal rest grant upon him.

Travis Spangenburg
Oh, I’m so sorry

Cyndi Dyches-Linthicum
I am so sorry for your loss! Thinking of you and hope God gives you peace in this difficult time

Stacey Hutson Stanbro
I'm so sorry Tina. Hugs to you my friend.

Doula Kristin Stout
I love you, Tina. I am so sorry.

Lynn Lee
Baby I’m so sorry! I love you and if you need anything I’m here.

Betsy Provost Kameron
Had some really good times and some really scary times with this man during the good years.
Missing the good times for sure. So sad. Eric and now Ronnie. So hard. So sorry. Prayers.

Constance Carter
I send prayers and condolences to you and your family.

Mindy Rubin
I’m so sorry for your loss, Faustina. Hold fast to your sweet memories together.

Lynn Trussell
Im sorry to hear this sweetie

Jim Reed
My most sincere condolences, Tina.
I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible for you and your family.

Brooke McArthur
I’m so sorry

Emily Barry Blackmon
I am so sorry love you

Julie Roundtree
Oh, goodness. I’m so sorry, Faustina.

Robin Ritenour Jenkins
I’m so sorry Tina.

Damon Smith
The man, the myth,the legend....RAS......RIP uncle ronnie

Karen Sherman
So sorry...........

Cathy MacGowan
Thoughts and prayers coming your way. So sorry for your loss.

Tony Clarke
So sorry for you lost...

John Denion
So sorry Tina. All our love...

Kathy Hodges
I'm so sorry.

Cathy Lewis
Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Jason Arons
Condolences to you and your family

Susan Kempf
I am so completely heartbroken. I just saw him a week ago or so and stopped to talk with him. I had no idea that he'd been suffering from cancer. 

All my love to you and your family.

Tina, I don't know if you clearly remember who I am, I dated Tony back whenever he rented Smitty's house on Bonaventure road. The last time I saw you was at Thanksgiving at your mom's house (may she rest in peace), a very long time ago.
I had remained friends with Ronnie and throughout the years I would see him around and I would always stop.
We had fun conversations about many things and he was always so kind to me.
On occasion I have bumped into Smitty but it's been a while. Please give him my love and prayers.
Whenever I went by the gas station 10 days ago or so, Ronnie was sitting on the side of the building.
We had a nice chat and I helped him out a little bit with water and money, he didn't ask me to, I wanted to.
He's helped me out through the years and I was just doing the same.
I know one thing he always talked to me about was your mom.
I'd lost my dad 10 years ago and Ronnie and I commiserated over our folks.
I'll miss him very much.
I'm truly saddened by this and I sincerely send prayers to you and the entire family.

Faustina Smith

Bless you, Susan Kempf. 

I didn't worry about Ronnie's choices because I knew he had so many people who cared for him and looked out for him. 

Thank you for being one of his Earthly angels.
 

Hallie Henry Allgood
We talked to Mary today. I am so sorry for your loss. It’s always so hard to lose a sibling.
Ronnie is in a glorious new home with no pain or disease. Hugs to all of you!

Marcia Ford
I will surely miss my friend. RIP Ronnie Love you to the moon

Amy D. Jenkins
Love and hugs, Tina.

Wendy Taylor Pena
Sorry to hear your sad news

Yvonne Pizzo Roach
I’m so sorry to hear this news. Let me know if I can do anything for you!

Caroline Switzer Verner
Faustina, I am so very sorry! Sending much love to you and your family!

Susan Carlile
So sorry to hear this Tina!

Susan Small Daggett
So sorry! I can’t imagine losing one of my siblings.

Terri Tatum
Sending you and your family prayers. What a nice guy.

Linda Farris
I am so sorry for your loss.

Hema Kaviratna
So sorry for your loss

Patrick Young
Sorry to hear, Faustina!

Deborah Ray
sorry to hear that

Penny Guenther
Oh, I'm so sorry, Tina.

E Ayse Gard
I am so sorry for your loss Tina, my condolences to you and your family

Monica McDermott
Tina, I am so sorry to hear this. I am sending many thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

Donna Summerlin Torres
So sorry for your loss with my deepest condolences

Linda Combs
So very sorry. Losing a brother or sister is hard. I lost my brother 10 years ago and still think
of him all the time.
Keep the beautiful memories in you heart. Prayers to you and your family

Inessa Inna
So sorry

Mary Harris Pulwarty
So sorry my friend, prayers for you to find peace.

Linsey Lee
I’m so sorry to hear this.

Lynita Spivey
I'm so sorry for your loss.

Sue Kosokowsky
Sorry for your loss, many prayers to you and your family.

Penny Walker Bos
Tina, I'm so sorry. You were such a fantastic sister and gave Ronnie such love, encouragement, and support.
Im saying prayers for you, Tony E Smith, Smitty Mary Ward-Smith and all his children and grandchildren.
My Deepest Condolences, Deepest Sympathy and Many Prayers

Axelle Kieffer
I am so sorry for your loss Tina

Fae Hill Kameron
I am so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you, Smitty and Tony.

Sherry M. Allen
My love and prayers

Dandy Barrett
May your pain ease quickly, Faustina.

JinHi Soucy Rand
Tina, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sending you the biggest hug and all of my love.

Dan Jaworski
So sorry for your loss.

Sherry Moore
I am so very sorry for your family's loss. Prayers of comfort to you and your family.

Kate Strickland
I'm so sorry Tina.

Keller A Jones
I'm so sorry, Tina. He was so young.

Shawn Latta
My condolences to you and yours.

Barbara Namkoong Gooby
I'm so sorry for your loss. My brother died at age 55 from complications of diabetes.

Mark Rand
So very sorry, Tina. Much love to you and your family.

Sandy McCloud
So very sorry!

Kathy Landers Schaal
So very sorry for your loss. Praying for you. Much love.

Gloria West Frazier
So much love toward your family

Sarah Logan-Reynolds
I’m so sorry. Hugs and grace.

Karen Halloran
Oh, I am so sorry! Sending hugs snd prayers...

Lydia Kaye Clothey
I'm so sorry to hear this. And I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs and praying for you
as you process.

Jackie Frant
I’m so sorry. May he rest in peace

Margaret Clay
Oh I'm so sorry, Tina!!

Donna Howard
Oh no!
He was loved thats for sure...

Genie Brazzeal Lawson
I’m sorry, Faustina! May his memory be eternal!

Sara Thompson
I’m so sorry.

Stroud Williams
So sorry for your loss. 58 is way too young

Danny Lewis
Oh no, I am so sorry.

Venita Johnson
So sorry my God bless you. And comfort you at this time. Love you.

Justin P. Kent
So sorry, Faustina. My love goes to you and your family.

Stephen Morgan
I am sorry to hear. Love y’all

Robin Johnson Maddox
So sorry to hear this. Praying for the family.

Amanda Kulkoski
Sending my love. So sorry.

Shavon Peacock
Our condolences Tina for the loss of your brother Ronnie. Take care.

Bunny Jones Roberts
I’m so very sorry Tina

Tara Kelly
I am so sorry, Tina. Sending love and hugs your way.

Deborah Stewart
Our prayers are with you.

Stephen S Gerard
My sincerest condolences, Tina.

John Mattingly
Very sorry for your loss, Tina.

Marshell Major
My condolences to you and your family.

Cindy LaCount Pinion
I’m so sorry! My sincere condolences for you and your family!

C Robb Worthington
So so sorry! Condolences.

Bonnie Clark
So sorry Tina.

Jeff Powless
So sorry for your loss Tina. Sending you a massive hug and all my love.

Susan Morgan
Sorry , my thoughts and prayers are with y’all

Marilyn O'Mallon-Stockdale
Peace

Judith Kessler
My deepest condolences. Sending love and prayers.

Michelle Davidson
So sorry for your loss. Sending hugs and love

Jenna Davidson
I’m so sorry for your loss Cousin Tina!!! Sending you so much love!!

Rush Robbie Prouty
So sorry for your loss, my cousin.

Martin Johnson
My sincerest & deepest condolences to you & your family.
You were there for me & my family & we are here for you.
Please let me know if there's anything we can do. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Faustina Smith
So sorry for your loss. I lost my brother last summer to respiratory problems...
I wish there was a way to take away the pain of losing a family member. You are in my prayers.

Jan Parham Williams
Sending our prayers and condolences to you and your Family!

Stephanie Mostashari
Tina, I’m so sorry for your loss. I love you

Bryan Pridgen
So sorry to hear! Thinking of you.

Dee Smith Phillips
My heart hurts hearing this. Ronnie Smith was the 1st of the Smith family that I met.
I met him just down from his house when my girlfriend and I were walking home from school one day.
A smile that stretched for miles. All the love to you Ronnie.
Many wonderful memories playing Spades and going to a concert.
Keeping Tina, Smitty and Tony in my heart and prayers.

Rhonda S. Curby
So sorry Tina. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Linda L. Walker
You were a wonderful sister to Ronnie.
Our Heavenly Father knows the many ways you showed love for him throughout his life.
I love you dearly and I am proud to be your Aunt. May Ronnie rest in peace.

Lorrie Bernhardt
I’m so sorry Faustina. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

William Peterson
I am so very sorry

John Tisbert
Tina,sorry for your loss.

Lorretta Ruggiero
I am so sorry. That is way too early for a life to end. Big hugs.

Bryan Roussell
So sorry for your loss! Please accept our condolences!

Faustina Smith
Many thanks to all for your kind words and loving hearts. Ronnie's obituary was printed in
today's newspaper.
https://legcy.co/3bkTUG0
Ronald Smith Obituary (2021) - Savannah, GA - Savannah Morning News
LEGACY.COM

James Metzger
Sorry for your loss, it must be hard to have a bother die so young.

Susie A Ingram
So sorry for your loss..

Faustina Smith
Families First has the obit posted, with photo, as I intended it to be, as a free-style poem.
https://www.familiesfirstcare.com/ronald-allen-smith/
Ronald Allen Smith - Families First Funeral Care & Cremation Center Savannah, Georgia
FAMILIESFIRSTCARE.COM

Sheryl Petroski Pena
I am so sorry for your loss Faustina

Lindsay McCord Norman
Tina, I am sorry for your loss.

Caroline Switzer Verner
Thinking of you, Tina, and hoping you are doing okay. I’m so very sorry for your loss. 

*****

So much love, for me, for him, for us.

Paul and Cathy called from California, with so much love, and we talked for almost an hour, with plans made for a visit next month.

Jeff called from Michigan, with so much love, and we talked for over an hour.

My stepmom, Bonnie, called from Alabama, with so much love, and we talked for 30 minutes, with plans made for a visit this summer.

i thank You, God.

more apt than not

Last night, as I watched "Trailer Park Boys" "with" Ronnie on my mind, I had to grab an old envelope to scribble down notes from the movie.

- guy smoking remainders of other people's discarded cigarettes

Yeah, many's the time that he used to do that.

He would even keep the longer butts, the ones with more than a drag or two left on them, in an empty cigarette pack for later.

- guy living in a trailer park, in a in a rundown, leaky trailer

Oh, my, I had forgotten about that!

Someone - I don't recall who - had such a thing in a trailer park that was near Coach's Corner and they graciously allowed Ronnie to stay there for a while.

I'm recalling that he was there long enough I had an address to write to him, as well as being close enough to visit regularly.

I don't know why he favored Thunderbolt, but he did, living in that area for most of the past decade, whether in a trailer, an apartment, a tent, or someone's house. 

- guy watching/starring in porn movies

Now, I don't know of Ronnie ever starring in such a movie - except maybe in his dreams!

He sure did watch them, though, as I did while in the Navy, so we would talk about some of them from time to time.

"Debbie Does Dallas" rings a bell... lol!

- guys at strip clubs with lots of topless women and lap dancing

Oh, yeah, I know he liked that part!

When I was in Las Vegas in 2010, I'd gone to the burlesque show, "Crazy Horse Paris" - which I think was at the MGM Grand - and brought him back a souvenir.

Yeah, he'd really liked that!

I think he would have loved that Mae West video I have.

 

- guy with a glass of whiskey always in his hand

Ronnie didn't always have a cold beer in his hand... but he would have if he could have afforded it!

He used to drink whiskey, too, but you can get a lot more beer for five dollars than you can get of hard liquor, so he pretty well gave that up.

Well, unless someone else was buyin'!

 

- lead guy (Ricky) in and out of jail, after dumb stuff, as if it was natural part of life

Yep, yep, same for Ronnie, and that started before Mama died.

In fact, it had been going on for several years before her death in 2001, with him and Tony just about taking turns getting locked up.

Mostly it was for public drunkenness, sometimes for fighting, sometimes DUI.

Like I said, dumb stuff.

It sure wore Mama out, worrying about both of them.

His continued trips to jail sure wore me out, but at least he wasn't my kid, so I didn't feel responsible for his actions.

- guy smoking dope

Hey, all three of my brothers did that when they were younger, even talking me into trying it during my senior year.

That almost kept me out of the Navy, by the way.

On the preliminary trip to Jacksonville to get checked out physically and mentally for service, I admitted that I had tried marijuana.

Next thing I knew, I had to get three letters of recommendation from teachers and employers to verify that I wasn't an addict before I was allowed to continue with my enlistment!!

True story.

My security clearance during my eight years of service kept me clean of drug use after that, and ever since. 

Well, except for alcohol now and again, right?

Ronnie was smoking crack for a while, until a TIA in 2010 nearly killed him.

That was his first time in the hospital, and when I began buying cellphones for him.

You see, if not for his crackhead girlfriend having a phone, and the presence of mind to use it to call 911, he would have died at that apartment across from the lake in Daffin Park.

By the time he was in the hospital in 2015, I had probably bought at least fifteen phones for him, dutifully paying their monthly fees so he would have a lifeline, buying another when he lost the one he had.

Sigh.

- guy kicked out of home (trailer) for lack of payment

Yes, that was a recurring theme, too.

Kicked out of the trailer, kicked out of the house near Henry Street, kicked out of the garage apartment on Bee Road, kicked out of Sue Crowe's house, kicked out of Smitty's rental on Hawthorne... and Ronnie just regarded it as part of life.

What he really wanted was for someone to give him a place to live.

Notice that word "give".

A place with no strings attached, no cost to him, with him free to share it with whoever he wanted, and do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

What a dreamer!

At least now he doesn't have to be concerned about such things.

 

I sure miss you, you goofy boy.

I had a long talk about you with the guy at Arcadia when he was trying to get you moved into a nursing facility last week.

He told me I reminded him of his sister, who he loved very much.

While I was with you at the hospital yesterday for that final time, I contacted him to let him know you had passed and to thank him for all his help.

This is the message he sent back.

"Tina, I truly hope that Ronnie is at peace and you and your family can reflect on his time with you and this world in a meaningful way. 

You described him as a man who lived life on his own terms. I think we can admire the spirit of his determination.

Bless you for all you did for him.

Sincere regards, John"

I'm going to treasure that, and treasure memories of you...

all of them, warts included.

Your name is all over my beach, and my beachwalks, and my delights, and, yes, even here, in my hindsight...

because you have been, and still are, in my heart, always.

I sure miss you, you goofy boy.

i'm sorry, but your brother has died

Those were the words the nurse had for me when I answered the phone.

I had just been on a call with Smitty, prior to my planned visit to Ronnie today.

Smitty told me he would have to call me back, Mary had fallen and he was on his way to Candler Hospital to be with her.

He had visited Ronnie this morning then went to run some errands, while Mary went out to Christy's house, where she got busy helping her tidy up and fell.

So, like I said, when my phone rang at 1:30 PM, I figured it would be him.

Then I saw the phone number.

It was one of those for Memorial.

And then Alycia, again Ronnie's nurse, told me those words...

and time slowed and swirled as my world forever changed.

Damn.

I had called Smitty to tell him the news; he was going to be at Candler for a while, they didn't yet know what Mary had broken, but he would call Tony and let him know.

Then I called Michael and I called Christina and asked that they let their Mom know.

After I'd pulled myself together a bit, I headed out to the hospital.

Alycia had said we could come and see him in his room, if we wanted, so I had let all know, but, in the end, I was the only one who did.

I stayed almost two hours, talking to him one more time, then gathered up the shorts and glasses and water bottle, and went to the nurses' station to release the room.

Alycia asked me if we had arranged for a funeral home yet.

No, no we had not.

So she sat down to help me, looking up phone numbers for the two I knew of: Families First and Gamble.

Then I called Families First and spoke to CJ and decided immediately to use them.

Alycia helped me fill out the paperwork to release Ronnie's body to them, the single page of paperwork required for that action.

Seems like there would be more, right?

Then I left.

I made it as far as the lobby on that floor.

The paintings of children playing caught me, as they have over this past week, bringing to mind happy memories of us Smith kids when we were so much younger.

This one particularly struck me: two skinny little boys, one slightly older and taller than the other, leaping and playing at the ocean's edge.

That could have been painted of Smitty and Ronnie, back in 1968, when Tony was just a baby and the two boys were inseparable.

I have a photo from that year, somewhere, of them both cutting up, holding their arms up like wrestlers, their ribcages clearly discernible on their skinny chests.

Now, the younger brother was dead of lung cancer.

Damn.

I went home, sent emails to family and friends, posted a photo from 2015 on facebook to let folks there know, and started on the paperwork for Families First.

That seemed to go on and on and on, pages and pages and pages, asking for decisions NOW about what casket or body container, what ashes container, what souvenirs of the cremation, what funeral service, how many copies of the death certificate.

Seriously.

I was utterly overwhelmed.

Finally, I finished it, about twenty minutes ago.

Now, I've opened up the only bottle of beer in the fridge: a Guinness Stout that's been aging since March last year.

I'm going to have the first sip, then pour a little out for the brother who isn't here anymore, and cue up a movie that I know he would enjoy.

"Trailer Park Boys: The Movie" promises to have the plenty of the hard-drinking, dope-smoking, girl-chasing rednecks that he was proud to be among.

Damn.

I sure would rather he be here in person, laughing at them with me.

Damn.

from viking rabbit to game-playing pilgrim

I love the old cartoons: Bugs Bunny, Pink Panther, Roadrunner and Coyote.

They come on daily, at 7 AM...

which is three hours before I rise.

Usually.

Today, after 5 hours of sleep, I was awake in time to catch some 'toons.

Oooohhh, aaahhh. (smile)

Then it was time to toss emails back and forth with Sarah Benhase and Lisa Ricks, grab some coffee and eggs, and hit the road.

Out I went to surf in my safe deposit box for Ronnie's social security card and, perhaps, even a copy of his last photo ID card.

After a delay caused by my arrival without an appointment, I was finally allowed access, but 'twas all of no avail.

I had not one single item of his, not one, in that deposit box.

Shocked, I went home to ransack drawers, the filing cabinet, but to no end.

There followed a flurry of emails and texts and even a phone call, all trying to determine what to do next and how to proceed with moving him to a nursing home.

Exhausted, I laid down to rest... and took a little nap.

Refreshed, I headed out to the hospital, more jokes in hand, this time from another issue of The American Legion monthly.

That's the only part of the magazine I read, and I'd read one page of corny jokes to Ronnie yesterday, so new ones sallied forth with me today.

My intention was to make a day of it with him.

The chaplain had told me yesterday, during the debacle with Christina's visit, that Smitty and I would be the only ones allowed to see him now, but that we would still have 24/7 access.

Would "still have 24/7" visitation privileges???

Yes, apparently, that's what I've had all along, that's why my armband is orange and Christina's and Tony's and Michael's had been blue.

Nice to know, if a bit late.

So, like I said, I came for the an extended visit, arriving at 3 PM and staying until 8 PM.

That's quite a while to be carrying on a one-sided conversation, but I managed to keep up my end pretty well.

I spoke of my time with Christina and her girls last night, reminding him that I'd shown him their photos on Tuesday.

I spoke of Tony's upcoming knee surgery to replace his left one and that his doctor had called it "the knee of a 75-year-old arthritic old man".

I swear Ronnie had raised an eyebrow to that comment!

I spoke of Michael's visit to him on Wednesday and talked about the twins in kindergarden and headed for first-grade in the fall, reminding him of their photos from Tuesday, too.

I spoke of Smitty and Mary and their anniversary and how they had actually been together for more than half their lives, even though only twenty of it was through marriage.

Mostly, though, I spoke about Grandpa.

I talked about our summers in Waycross with Grandma and Grandpa, of summer camp at Laura S. Walker State Park, of him and Grandpa fishing and talking about life.

And the whole time I spoke, I held Ronnie's right hand in my left one.

I swear he squeezed my hand a few times, that he held on the whole time.

I swear he was listening to me, too.

And I had the impression that he was waiting, waiting for something, for someone...

and I reminded him that Smitty would be visiting him tomorrow, as they were to return from their trip today.

For the first five years of his life, Smitty was his only brother and they went everywhere together and did everything together before my youngest brother was born.

There had just been the three of us Smith kids, just as there are three of us in this photo.

Remember? When we had been so fortunate to be all together for what would have been Mama's 80th birthday in 2017, with Tony 'there' on the phone with us?

That was a very good day.

I'd like to believe that Ronnie might awaken and see that photo on the tv stand in this room and that it will bring a smile to him.

Yes, I will choose to believe he knows that photo is there, and has been there, for most of his stay this May.

Now, I seek solace from a movie and I think "Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World" may well be the one to bring a smile to my face.

Yes, I will choose to believe that it will.

there's a peace pipe on the left

It's a really nice tattoo, one he got sometime in the last two decades.

Notice the faint smoke curling up from the bowl -

very nice.

I had made sure to make a mental note of the tatt, in case something ever happened and I needed to identify his body.

At least that doesn't seem to be anything that will be required of me now.

When I think of it, there's a song fragment that comes to mind, though it's one of those mis-heard lyrics things:

"There's a bathroom on the right" instead of the real "There's a bad moon on the rise".

I don't think Creedence Clearwater Revival would mind my appropriation of their tune and I know Ronnie would get a kick out of it.

Of course, I had not been able to ask him about that.

He was asleep the three hours I was there and his sweet nurse-of-the-day, Alycia, said he had been since she came on early this morning. 

I had brought in a water bottle with a pull-up release, as I had noticed he had a problem using straws.

I managed to get a swallow of sweet tea in him, thinking that would rouse him, but it did not.

That's okay; Sarah Benhase came by and told me that "just a taste" to someone at this stage is as good as having the whole glassful.

At least I was finally able to meet face-to-face with someone other than the nurses.

Sarah is in charge of his case now, not a doctor, so I guess that's good.

I also met Monica Anderson, the case worker I'd spoken to twice on the phone.

She sent in Lisa Ricks, the social worker with all the paperwork to file for Medicaid benefits.

I must have signed my name at least ten times on his behalf.

Then the flurry of live activity ceased, followed by a flurry of texts from MaryLynn Workman, John Ober, and my sister-in-law Laura.

Bless her, she's trying to get him into Azalealand, where she works, but that won't happen until the Medicaid comes through, so we're all trying to make that happen.

I was also fielding texts from Christina, trying to arrange a way for her to visit her Daddy.

 

I finally told her to bring the girls to my house, that I'd mind them so she could.

That part worked out fine, especially with me letting them toss Panamanian seashells on the back porch.

But Christina ended up calling her Aunt Robin - who works at the hospital - because of petty actions by the front desk clerk and by Amanda, the nurse leader on the 3rd floor.

It ended up with the chaplain being called in to escort Christina upstairs so she could say goodbye to Ronnie.

Utterly exhausting.

Utterly ridiculous abuse of perceived power.

I hope Amanda's soon-to-be-born child never has to go through such petty abuse to visit her someday on her deathbed.
 

Christina had returned to me at 7 PM in tears, partly from seeing her dad in such sad shape, partly from her ordeal to do so.

We left the shells scattered about, gathered up the girls, and fled to one of our havens: Cancun.

Mexican comfort food was definitely needed by all of us.

I had wanted such last night, but that was not possible on Cinco de Mayo, so getting my "fix" helped me greatly...

and helped her, too.

She ate every bite of her meal!

So did the two little blondes, and all are safely back home now.

I've gathered the papers needed by Lisa Ricks, scanned them, and emailed them on their way, so I am done for the night.

I'll watch those Harper boys do their silliness and crash out.

It's been a very, very, long day.