Saturday, January 23, 2021

touch: not only from fingertips

I like this photograph.
It hangs on a wall at the local VA Center and I always enjoy its image while I wait.
When I was there recently, a title for it sprang to mind: Up From Desolation.
It does have a post-apocryphal vibe, with the sienna tinge, but also a hopeful, bright spark of life right there in the center.
That lone, intact, daisy draws me close, like a flickering fire radiating warmth in the darkness of the world.
I acknowledge that I know that darkness.
The pandemic has become yet another layer of sadness and loss, taking away much of the comfort I had derived from the company of friends and strangers and acquaintances at the cultural events for which I volunteered.
Talking with mi amiga last night after the movie, I realized how much I missed sitting in a restaurant and discussing the film over a meal with her, rather than standing in the cold parking lot for over an hour.
At least the cinemas here are still open, affording me that pale facsimile of the rich and varied life I led until April of last year.
I want that life back.
(Sigh.)
Eventually, it will be my turn to get the vaccine to protect me from the coronavirus, for some unspecified time.
SARS-CoV-2 is still simply so new and there is yet so much to learn about it.
Meanwhile, I do the right thing and try to protect myself and others...
and wait for my real life to move out of freeze-frame status.
One of the Boomers, Jackie Frant, posted the following on fb and it resonated with me, though at the time I thought it was simply because of the 'baby steps' that it listed for finding one's way out of the sadness of the world.
I awoke this morning with the realization that its focus on touch was central in almost every item on the list.
Touch.
I think folks overlook how many different varieties of that sensation there are and how important every one of them are.
The feel of water as it cascades over the skin, the snuggle of favorite clothes against the body, the almost audible drinking of the water in lotion by thirsty flesh, the warmth attained from holding another living creature: touch.
The entirety of the skin is a living organ, inundated with nerve tissue, and all of it needs to be nurtured for us to have a spirit which is satisfied and whole.
Touch.

***   ***   ***
"DEPRESSION TIPS
Shower.
Not a bath, a shower.
Use water as hot or cold as you like.
You don’t even need to wash.
Just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while.
Sit on the floor if you gotta.

Moisturize everything.
Use whatever lotion you like.
Unscented?
Dollar store lotion?
Fancy 48 hour lotion that makes you smell like a field of wildflowers?
Use whatever you want, and use it all over your entire dermis.

Put on clean, comfortable clothes.

Put on your favorite underwear.
Cute black lacy panties?
Those ridiculous boxers you bought last christmas with candy cane hearts on the butt?
Put them on.

Drink cold water.
Use ice.
If you want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.
I always use lemon.

Clean something.
Doesn’t have to be anything big.
Organize one drawer of a desk.
Wash five dirty dishes.
Do a load of laundry.
Scrub the bathroom sink.

Blast music.
Listen to something upbeat and dancey and loud, something that’s got lots of energy.
Sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

Make food.
Don’t just grab a granola bar to munch.
Take the time and make food.
Even if it’s ramen.
Add something special to it, like a soft boiled egg or some veggies.
Prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something.
 
Make something.
Write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic.
Even if you don’t think you’re good at it.
Create.

Go outside.
Take a walk.
Sit in the grass.
Look at the clouds.
Smell flowers.
Put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

Call someone.
Call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call.
Talk to a stranger on the street.
Have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice.
If you can’t bring yourself to call, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person.
Even if you don’t say much, listen to them.
It helps.

Cuddle your pets if you have them/can cuddle them.
Take pictures of them.
Talk to them.
Tell them how you feel, about your favorite movie, a new game coming out, anything.

May seem small or silly to some, but this list keeps people alive.  

*** At your absolute best you won’t be good enough for the wrong people. But at your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right ones. Remember that. Keep holding on.

*** In case nobody has told you today I love you and you are worth your weight and then some in gold, so be kind to yourself and most of all keep pushing on!!!!

Find something to be grateful for!

**copied and pasted, feel free to do the same**
"
 
 ***   ***   ***
Now, I'm going out into the sunny, though chilly, day to feel its warmth on my face.
While I'm out, I'm visiting Greenwich again, this time with a plastic bag to pick up trash and shattered floral arrangements while I'm there.
Then I'll come home and make one of my favorite meals, my take on Wonton Tacos.
I contacted my first niece earlier and have a cinema date for tomorrow with her, this time in Hinesville so she won't have to drive for over an hour.
As for lotion, I took care to moisturize my legs and hands this morning before I was even out of bed or dressed.
I even cooked Pepperoni Omelet Pizza for breakfast!
As for the touch of a pet... well, I have managed to keep my Peace Lily alive and have been known to caress its leaves from time to time.
That definitely counts.
Touch.

2 comments:

cousin Penny said...

Penny Walker Bos
Love these suggestions! I can attest to many of these strategies and recommend trying as many as possible! Depression hurts but it gets better with baby steps like these!

faustina said...

I had asked Barbara to join me for the latest Denzel Washington movie on Friday.
No, she had a haircut appointment and a pedicure, so she would have to catch it another time.
That's when I realized: I am one of the very few women I know that don't get pedicures and manicures and haircuts.
So, why do others?
Touch.
I get that.