why my house is so cold, or, stupid people tricks

Remember that bit that David Letterman used to do on his show?

He would have ordinary-people guests, either on the stage or in the audience, who had some special thing they could do that made them a bit different.

It was called "stupid people tricks" or maybe "stupid human tricks"; sure, I could look it up, but I don't want to right now.

I'm trying to tell a story.

(smile)

Well, during the summer for the past few years -

perhaps since the air conditioning broke in 2013 -

the attic fan would turn on and dump hot air into my house, making a bad situation intolerable on miserably hot days.

This summer, when my attic fan came on and started blasting heat into my house, something in me just snapped.

Instead of just unscrewing the fuse to shut it off -

an action that also renders useless my both my oven and the stove light -

as the idiots who had the house before wired those all together -

instead of just unscrewing the fuse as I had so many times before, I also removed the thermostat cover and clipped wires.

Seriously.

Yes, I did.

Sure, I knew there would be a piper - or an electrician - to be paid at some future date, but I wanted to be able to use my gas stove without having to resort to matches to light the burners.

I wanted to be able to cook like I normally did, even in this abnormal year...

perhaps especially because of this abnormal year of pandemic...

which meant I needed the piezo electric igniters on the burners to work...

which meant I needed to be able to keep the fuse in place this summer.

So, now the cold weather has come and my heat doesn't work.

Imagine that.

Here's what the thermostat looks like now, in its nonfunctioning state.

Four colorful wires with no tethers.

I do have a space heater, thankfully, and I've blocked off the two unused rooms, the sunroom, and the pantry

Plus, I use the oven to dump heat into the kitchen and stir it around.

Even so, with temperatures for the last two days only rising into the mid-40's Fahrenheit, that means the house stays low 60's at best.

No wonder my brothers kept warming their hands up while they visited on Christmas Day!

And me, the one who loathes cold weather?

I've been gratefully going to bed and snuggling into its warmth, thanks to the heated mattress pad I've had for so long.

The problem is getting up in the morning.

Yes, I need to get an electrician over here this week.

Right now, though, I'm going to see the new Wonder Woman movie.

In the Big D, of course!

I'm so glad the temperature outside is mid-50's today.

I've been staying in the house since Thursday.

Time to go!

(smile!)