sorry to have bothered you

"Are you talkin' to me?"

Well, yeah, I am. And I'm telling you that those were the last words the psychologist said to me.

"And just when was that? Are y'all already talking politics again?"

No, we are not, or rather he is not to me. He said those exact words, almost sotto voce, last Saturday. He had called to tell me about the election results in one of the states, then he made the mistake of saying "but they still have to..." That's when I lost it. I mean, really?! He has that little concern for me that he would choose to discuss such things when I had specifically asked him not to until everything had been finalized? That's what I told him, too, in those exact words. And that's when he muttered "sorry to have bothered you" and hung up.

"Wow." 

Yeah, that was my reaction, too.

"And, what is going on now?"

Beats me. He has blocked my calls and texts and has blocked me on fb. 

"You have got to be kidding..."

I wish I was, but it's true. And knowing the bfrb as I do, and knowing that course of action to be his modus operandi for dealing with women who vex him, I completely believe that he's done so. Rather than discuss the matter with me at a future date and work toward apologies on both sides - him for breaking the agreement with me, me for yelling and talking over him - he has closed and nailed shut all doors. Well, all save one. I still have his address and have that avenue of communication available.

"Wow."

I admit, raising my voice at him was a bit over the top. I guess that was me still upset with him from our last dinner the night before. I had told him, in plain English, that I didn't want to talk politics, especially not anything to do with the recent election. He had looked at me, dumbfounded, and then said, "then what else is there to talk about?"

"What an idiotic thing to say.  As long as y'all have known each other, and as much as you're discussed over the years, what a truly silly thing for him to say."

That's essentially what I replied. Then I'd given him a list of other topics of conversation and started in on one of the topics. Honestly, it was a pretty one-sided talk over dinner, with me going off on tangents and him not saying much of anything and acting rather petulant. He then feigned a headache and begged off after we found out the cinema had not received the Bond movie.

"Yeah, I know well how he can be when he doesn't get his way. I'm sure he absolutely could not understand why you would not relent and let him dominate."

I'm sure you're right. I have been asserting myself more of late, rather than subjugating my needs and plans for his. Or for anyone else's.

"And that's as it should be, dear. In fact, I'm sure that's the advice he would give to any other female friend, to stand up for herself and not allow herself to be browbeaten into doing things she doesn't want to do."

(Sigh.)

"Hey, it'll be okay, you'll see. After all, you are his dear Aunt Tina and he has told you that you give him more support than all the rest of his family combined."

Yes, that is true, he has said that, and recently, too. After all, he had even included me in his AA anniversary meeting. He's certainly never done that before.

"Exactly."

Still, he has had to deal with a lot of changes this year. Yet another new company has taken over and made big changes to his work hours. Rather, they are making him stick to the scheduled five-day, forty-hour, work week, which he has not adhered to for at least two years. He had finagled his hours around, putting in ten hours Monday through Thursday, so on Friday he could work just in the morning. Not so any more.

"So that cut into his working out schedule, didn't it? I'm sure he was none too happy about that."

Absolutely correct. But more than that, they showed him he wasn't special. He has to follow the same rules as everyone else that works on post.

"Ack. I caught that bit about not 'special'. I know he thought he'd beat the system."

Yes he did.

But work isn't the only area of change in his life. His renter has a steady beau who has stayed over quite a bit and that has really had him vexed. That's because his dating life has gone to hell in a handbasket. He may get two dates with the same fish before she's out of the boat. Then he has to go back to square one, cutting bait and getting busted lines.

"Well, we are in a year of pandemic. He realizes that, right? Right?"

He says he does, but I have my doubts. I've let him know I'm not keen about his risking my health just so he can get laid. Well, not using those exact words, but close enough that he'd have to be obtuse to not catch my drift.

"Yeah, I have to wonder just how many one-and-done dates there may have been that he hasn't told you about."

Well, he's signed up for a year of letting eHarmony find his dates, but he's still out there fishing. This latest one has been on five - that's right, a big old five - dates with him and I strongly suspect they had sex last week. He sent me a text message meant for her, so that's why I suspect he and she have hooked up, literally and figuratively. She's a shrink, too, and she's working in the prisons, so they have that in common. She's also a little older, I think, as she has a kid in his 20's and another in his late teens.

"I see. That also explains why he has pulled a vanishing act on you. That's what he always does when he gets sex - I mean, serious - with a woman."

Very true, but that may only be partly the reason this time. In addition to changes at work and changes in dating, he's had major changes in his family, too. His 'good' sister has abandoned her husband and their daughter, opting to have an affair and get divorced. There's a complication concerning a house that they lived in, but that is on the parents' property. Plus, the bear's mom has had a cancerous mole removed from her back and further treatment is required.

"Wow. Those are all major changes. And they're happening to a guy who doesn't do well with change and may be as big a control freak as you are."

That may be true, though you have to admit I'm a huge control freak.

"That you are. Just do me a favor, eh?"

What's that? Leave him be and let him be the one to make the next move?

"Yeah. I know your penchant for trying to make things right, but this is something only he can make right. You can't fix broken for someone else, only for yourself. Remember?"

Yeah, I hear you talkin'.

"Well, you better be doing more than just hearing me. You better be listening, too."

Yes, ma'am. I will leave him be.

"Good girl. Now, it's Fabulous Friday! The cinema has your beloved "Guardians Of The Galaxy" so go and enjoy those guys for your date night!"

Yes, ma'am! Color me g...o...n...e!

(smile)