charlie brown, job, and parenting

My intention had been to attend church this morning.

I woke up when it was to start... so that didn't happen.

I decided to do the next best thing by tuning in for the live stream on youtube.

That did happen... but the message just wasn't meant for me.

I was still wanting church, though.

It's been a while... so I pulled up one I'd missed, from the first Sunday in October.

That was a good call... and that's a nice play on words in the world of baseball.

What does the one have to do with the other?

Well, as the pandemic has continued, Asbury Memorial Church had to shift its modus operandi; specifically, the usual God On Broadway series that had reigned there for well over a decade had to be postponed this year, in hopes of safer times ahead.

For the first time in many years, Reverend Billy was using the Methodist-suggested scripture as the crux of his sermon.

I had not yet viewed that episode, but I knew it to be the message for me immediately.

In the video, skip ahead, as I did, to time stamp 45:00 or so... that's the start of the sermon, with Charlie Brown on the mound, pondering the team's losses and how hard life is.

His teammates approach him there and they offer him various rationales, some based on scripture, some rather funny, of course.

Those from the Bible dealt with Job and his plight... but I heard it differently today.

Skip ahead, again, to time stamp 58:00 or thereabouts, where that story is told.

As well as reminding me of "Bruce Almighty" - specifically, when Bruce is given the task of tending to the many issues on Earth while God takes a holiday - that bit of verse spelled out the great divide between what parents have to do and how children see it.

Here it is, in black and white, courtesy of a post from cousin Lynn on fb.

"Who knew

that the hardest part

of being an adult

is figuring out 

what to cook for dinner

every single night

for the rest of your life. "

But here is the whole truth: before determining what to eat, that food must first be obtained from somewhere, then that food must be prepared - but to obtain that food, funds must be used, so there is the issue of how to obtain the funds - plus, that food must be stored or cooked, both of which require the use of utilities (gas, electricity, wood) and equipment (fridge, stove, oven, microwave), all of which must be obtained with funds - also, that food will require the use of cooking materials (pots, pans, knives, ladles, pot holders, mitts, etc.) as well as dining materials (plates, bowls, utensils, cups), all of which will be best if located in a specific place, such as living quarters (house, apartment, tent), things which also must be obtained with funds - and none of this has anything to do with clothing, furniture, or education.

Never mind about items for entertainment (toys, television, radio, computers, phones) - those are pure add-ons for luxury.

It all seems rather daunting when pulled out of the box, doesn't it?

Children have not the education or the experience to understand those nuts and bolts.

Children see only the differences between what they have and what others have.

That's why children continually seek to obtain from their parents what they WANT (i.e., dream of having) not mindful of the bounty of their NEEDS (real shelter, food, clothing) that are being met (and mostly surpassed).

It's up to the parents to keep the children grounded in the real world, not that false dream propagated by the 'mercials.

I'm not saying that dreams are not important.

Dreams add spice to life, just as salt adds flavor to meals.

I'm saying that children need parents that teach them the difference between needs and wants, and that requires a lot of responsibility on the part of the parents.

Being a parent, then, means taking on the responsibility of not only making sure your own needs are being met, but also that the needs of your child are being met.

I understood that at a young age, so I have no children; I had already helped raise my youngest brother and realized how much continual work was involved in that effort, and how much responsibility for his life and actions were on me.

So, why did this topic of parenting have such an impact today?

After the wedding yesterday, through a chance encounter (namely, I saw Michael and wanted to sit by him), I sat with my outlaw's sister, Brenda, up from Tampa with her man, Dana, on his first visit to Savannah. (We were eventually joined by her sister Robin as well as Robin's daughter Kayla and that girl's boyfriend, plus Christina.)

At one point, while the bride and her maid of honor (my first niece) were line dancing, Dana commented that he did not see a family resemblance between the two.

Knowing who I am, Brenda tried to be tactful in telling him that Christina and Michael were full siblings, but only shared a mother with Chelsea.

So, I spoke up, confirming that my middle brother, Ronnie, had been the father of Melinda's first two children, then she married Matt and they had Chelsea.

I was sure to mention that Matt had been a wonderful father to all three of them.

I was sure to mention that Ronnie had never wanted the responsibility of having children.

Brenda told me she was aware of that; she recalled him repeatedly asking Melinda to get an abortion with the first baby, and then again with the second baby, but Melinda would not.

(His previous girlfriend did get an abortion when they had found she was pregnant; perhaps he believed that absolved him from taking precautions against pregnancy, as abortion was always an option. I don't know why he didn't get a vasectomy.)

I confirmed what she was saying, then we changed the topic to the music on the dance floor and she tried to get Dana to dance with her.

I went up to dance with Christina Ann, as the song was an Elvis favorite of mine (especially as sung by Ryan Pelton, in Las Vegas, to me as I danced).

i thank You, God, for being able to share that time with her... for us having this season's  "Dancing With The Stars" girl-and-girl couple to serve as an inside reference and a light to shine for others... for a world that is brighter with this dearest niece.

Right place, right time.